TCK Talk: Following your Calling

As TCKs, our desire is to see other TCKs use their life experiences and skills to serve diverse ethnic groups or dedicate themselves to helping others in an intercultural context. The percentage of TCKs who avoid or experience a sense of rejection towards a missionary calling is high, and as TCKs ourselves, our hearts ache at this reality.

Ever since I was little, I’ve always felt different from others. Not necessarily in a negative way, but I simply didn’t feel like I fit the norm. As I grew up, I developed an awareness that I had a broader understanding of the world.

When I was little, I always took my parents’ work for granted. I was aware that Dad traveled often and that we had to visit different churches—which I wasn’t familiar with—when we went to visit part of my family on the other side of the world, in the United States. I never considered my parents' work to be any different from the careers of my friends' parents. As time went on, I realized I was wrong. I began to understand what my parents did in a more conscious and detailed way, partially thanks to my curiosity but above all thanks to them, who from a young age made sure my siblings and I were aware of and involved in what they did.

Nevertheless, whenever a friend or a non-Christian asked me what my parents did for a living, I was always at a loss. I never knew where to start, what to say, or which details to leave out in order to help a non-believer understand their vision—but above all, what God calls us to do. I often gave a brief, vague answer because I was afraid they would ask questions I couldn’t answer.

There were many occasions when we traveled to other countries to attend events or conferences my parents were scheduled to participate in. In particular, when I was sixteen, my family and I attended a conference where missionaries from all over the world gathered to share what God was doing in various nations. I believe it was during that very conference that I truly understood how important and beautiful my parents’ work was and how privileged I was to have parents who served the Lord in that way.

During those days, I realized that I wanted to do exactly what my parents and so many other people I had met were doing: serving the Lord to reach the unreached. I thought that even if I became just a fraction of who my parents are and what they do, I would be truly blessed. I fully understood that there were many challenges my parents faced, but I also came to the realization of how much joy there was in seeing people equipped and willing to go to the other side of the world to share the name of Jesus.

After that conference, I believe God gradually cultivated in my heart the desire to go and visit an unreached people group. And that is exactly what happened. Four years later, I left for Norway. I attended a discipleship training school for six months, where I had the opportunity to serve in an unreached nation: Japan.

After this experience, I can affirm that, as I’ve grown, I’ve realized that not only is my parents’ work worthy of being shared with others as a testimony, but I can also declare with greater awareness that God has a detailed plan for each of us. He does not entrust to me the heart and calling He gave to my mother and father, but creates a different one for me. In His abounding grace, the Lord desires to have a personal relationship with us and invites us to collaborate with Him in different ways in His great calling.

I remember clearly when my parents first told us about the idea of going to North Africa. We’ve been to several countries, all with the purpose of bringing Jesus’ love and his good news to those who have never heard it. I remember that this was important to me. I know that many TCKs don’t handle this reality well, because their “parents’ calling” is perceived as something bigger and more important than their role as children.

In all honesty, I don’t know what was different in my life. I only know that, wherever I went, I didn’t dwell on my own struggles, but on the love and urgency in the eyes of the people who were encountering Jesus for the first time.

Perhaps it was because my father always gave my brother and I a say, believing that God speaks to the entire family. Perhaps it was because my brother and I knew the heart beating in our parents’ chests. Not only that: I also would like to apologize to all TCKs who have felt less important than their parents’ calling.

God spoke clearly to me when I was 14. He asked me a question: “Are you willing to die for me?” I remember realizing I didn’t fully understand what that question meant, but I answered: “If there is one thing I’ve learned in my short life, it's that it’s worth saying yes to you.”

Dear TCK, if I could give you just one piece of advice for your life, it would be this: ask yourself, “What am I willing to do for God?” Whether it’s your calling or something else, are you willing to make sacrifices for God? You were created by God, who has a plan for your life.

Parents, don’t assume that your children understand or grasp the reasons behind what you do. Take the time to explain and share the heart behind your family’s way of life. God calls the ENTIRE family. May your calling not become, for your children, a reason to drift away from God, but an opportunity to know Him in a different way.

TCK, don’t limit yourself to viewing your life as the result of choices made by your parents. God has a plan for each of us—individual and personal. Our encouragement is to ask you: “Why have I experienced all of this?” Do not harden your heart to what may be the calling the Lord is entrusting to you, because it takes into account all your abilities and the TCK characteristics that make you unique and special.

Who knows, He might be calling you. Remember: it is worth saying “yes” to God.