Motherhood Myths

A study was conducted with mothers who use social media. It found that mothers who spend time on social media have higher levels of anxiety and envy.

Lie #1: Being a Mom Is Not Enough

When we look around, the message we receive is that being a mom is not enough. You should want more, you deserve more, you will be happier and more fulfilled when you have and do more… when you have a job you enjoy, when your children grow up and become more independent, when they manage themselves so you have more time to focus on something else. You are not enough without the “extra.”

We see this message everywhere online—but not only there. After a woman gives birth, we ask, “When are you going back to work?” Sending the message that being a mom is not a real job, and that the norm is to return to work right away.

You can’t have it all. The myth of having it all is just that—a myth.

Parenting requires sacrifice, intentionality, humility, consistency, and perseverance.

Now, I am not saying there aren’t situations or seasons when a family decides together that both parents should work. I am saying that sometimes it is done for the wrong reason: I don’t feel like I am enough if I am “just” a mom. I have to be Mom + teacher, Mom + hospital worker, and so on. But this destructive lie tears us apart. The working woman doesn’t feel like she is enough because she isn’t married. The woman who wants children but cannot have them doesn’t feel like she is enough because she cannot be a mother. And the mother doesn’t feel like she is enough because she doesn’t work outside the home. In the end, we fall into the trap of not fully living with joy in the gifts and roles God has entrusted to us, because we feel incomplete.

Don’t misunderstand me—this is not a judgment about how your family is organized. Rather, it is highlighting the enemy’s lies, which are often so subtle that we don’t even realize they are lies. These lies destroy us and produce anxiety and dissatisfaction.

God uses all of creation to display His glory, but the first assignment He gave to the first people was to become the first parents of the first children. We are raising image-bearers of a glorious God. There is no more important task.

Lie #2: You Are Not a Good Mom

Another lie I want to point out is the one that says you are not a good mom. We receive so much input from social media telling us, “You’re not good enough.” Look at her—she already knows how to do everything. It comes naturally to her, while I feel lost. An image shows a single moment in someone’s life, often not even a real one.

These messages produce two effects in us:

1. Anxiety

We try all day, every day, to be everything for our children, yet we constantly live with guilt and anxiety about not measuring up. We look for our value in being a good enough mom. Often, we try to be everything for our children. We will never be such perfect mothers that we never make mistakes or hurt our children. But we receive grace and forgiveness from the Lord when we fail, and strength to grow in Him. We are always loved because our primary identity is daughter of God. We can show God’s grace through our mistakes, by choosing to ask for forgiveness and to go to Him for wisdom, strength, and peace.

2. Apathy

“I won’t even try because it’s impossible to have a life like the ones I see online.” Giving up before even trying prevents growth. It keeps me from receiving input or advice because “I’ll never be as good as she is,” or “my children are different,” or “my husband doesn’t help like hers does.” So we remain the same because we are placing our hope in the wrong thing. And not only do we remain the same—we isolate ourselves. Our hope should not be in our ability to do and be everything in our own strength, but in being the best mom according to God’s design for us.

Lie #3: You Are Enough

The idea of being inadequate is unpopular in our culture. The Bible is not diminishing our value. It is simply emphasizing that our true worth is found only in Christ. With Him, we are free to acknowledge that we are imperfect. YOU ARE ENOUGH—not because of your abilities, but because of the One who is in you. Not because you are the perfect social media mom, but because you are a daughter of God. He loves you. He chose you. And He entrusted you with the roles in your life.

There is freedom in depending on God in motherhood. You will never be enough—but God is. Rest in Him.

“Like a shepherd He will tend His flock: He will gather the lambs in His arms and carry them close to His heart; He will gently lead those that have young.” — Isaiah 40:11

What is the Role God Entrusts to us as Mothers?

Scripture teaches mothers to point their children to Christ by praying for them, modeling faith and character, and teaching them wisdom.

“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live… Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” — Titus 2:3–5

The Word teaches us that the way we love our children speaks about Him. It makes us a light.

Our first and most important task, ministry, and work is our family. It starts there.

“He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)” — 1 Timothy 3:4–5

We agree that the church is extremely important to the Lord, right? If His Word places priority on managing one’s family, how could we do otherwise? It is not a lesser thing. Do not let any image or social standard around you convince you that being a mother is not important and precious to the Lord.

“Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.” — Proverbs 1:8
“The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” — Proverbs 29:15
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” — Proverbs 22:6

A Mother According to the Word of God…

• Is a mother, not a friend

• Is not afraid to be different, to pursue a higher standard, to hunger for holiness

• Is intentional in education and discipleship

• Is humble and eager to be discipled herself

• Depends on the Lord, not on her own abilities

• Recognizes that being a mother is a role of great value to God and foundational for her children, and therefore is present in their lives

Our primary role as mothers is to disciple our children.

And this role is precious and of great value to the Lord.