Family Question Jar

You want to know how your kids are doing. You want a creative way to ask questions that makes it feel safe and fun. But you are not sure how to create a relaxed moment of sharing for your family to experience together.

An easy way to do this is to create a family question jar.

Get creative on your question jar! Create one together that represents your family or makes the moment feel special and fun. We created our jar with a large glass jar and spray paint! Super easy. There are 5 pages of questions that you can print and cut out to place in your jar. It can be helpful to work on the set up together. It builds anticipation and helps you to explain what you hope to create for your little family.

Once you have printed and cut out your questions and placed them in your jar, create a family check in moment. You can do this once a day or once a week. It can be a relaxed moment and there is no need to stress if you miss a day! The important thing is to make checking in with one another part of your routine.

We found that the easiest moment to do this was during meal time. It's a moment that we are consistently sitting down together around the table. Your family might find a different way to do it though! You could have a sit down time on your chairs or couches where you draw a question and spend time sharing and praying before bedtime. You can try a few different moments and see what works best for your bunch!

It might be helpful to set a few rules for this moment:

1. We listen to one another without interrupting.

2. No phones allowed during our check in time (adults included!!).

3. We can ask questions of the other person, as long as we leave time for everyone to answer.

4. EVERYONE answers the question. Your answer can be short or long and detailed, but everyone has a chance to share their answer.

5. We do not make fun of, belittle or speak unkindly of someone else's answer. It is their answer. We are all different and that is ok. We respect one another and what the other person has to say.

Once you have found a moment and set your family rules, the idea is very simple: one member of the family draws out a question (you can have a new member draw a question every day/week) and reads it to the family. One at a time each family member responds as they are called on by the person reading the question. The person who reads the question, gives their answer last. Listen. Take note of important things that your children might share. You can ask more questions in the moment, and/or come back to it with a specific child later. For example: If the question is, "Who are your best friends? If you could describe the type of friend you would like to have, what would they be like?" and your TCK shares that they feel like they don't have any friends take time to listen. Don't interrupt and don't list off the people you would define as friends. Questions might include:

• What makes you feel that way?

• What kind of friend would you like to make?

• What kind of friend can you be in order to make new friends?

• That must feel lonely. Can we do something to help or encourage you?

• Offer to pray together as a family that God would provide friends for your child.

The important thing is to make everyone feel safe, and heard and that what they have to say is valued. Some of the questions are more silly and fun but can still teach you important things about how your child is feeling or what their needs are. For example, if the question is: "If you were president for a day, what would you do?" You may find that this silly, creative question provokes deeper responses from one of your children ("help all the poor people in our town", "make it possible for everyone to travel anywhere for free", "end the conflict between these people", etc).

Whether you use these questions to help your family do a weekly check in, or create your own way to share and pray together, a weekly/daily check in is foundational for a healthy TCK family. Your family needs to feel heard, understood and loved. Create these precious moments to help one another have a safe space.

The printable sheets of questions are available for download on the activities page!